Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize