kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
