On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
