yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
