I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
