how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
