Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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