I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
