I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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