weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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