This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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