I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
