He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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