Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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