just come out here and I will go home with you...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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