Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
