Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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