Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.