My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
