Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it