I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.