pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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