The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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