five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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