Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
