Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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