She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
