when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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