Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
