After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
