There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you traded sex for a burrito?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
