theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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