yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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