I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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