I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
