I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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