I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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