this boner is exhausting
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
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He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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