Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize