physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Small penises have feelings too.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Every concussion has its silver lining
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize