I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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