i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize