uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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