Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
