Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
