4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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