Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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