I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
