Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
