just tell him i said nine months
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
