I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
