Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
