In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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