Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
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peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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