I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
