cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
