i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
