It was confusing and full of hummus
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize