sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
