I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
