he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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